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How a BTS Song Helped Me Heal

Updated: Aug 20, 2021

Hello!

In excitement for the new BTS single, "Butter" coming out tonight, I want to share an intimate healing moment of mine that I experienced last year from listening to this particular BTS solo song by member V "Singularity".


Watch the music video below with captions to understand the lyrics:

This month of May marks Singularity's 3rd year anniversary. YAYYYYY CELEBRATE!🎉


I've heard this hauntingly beautiful song many times because I'm a fan, but it literally took me the lifetime of the song to realize that the lyrics were SPEAKING TO ME.


My favorite lyrics are:

"Have I lost myself or have I gained you?"
"Tell me if my voice isn't real... If I shouldn't have thrown myself away."
"Tell me if this pain isn't real. What was I supposed to do back then?"

I felt like the lyrics were telling my own story; one I didn't even know the words to myself... til this moment. I realized this was an artful personification of my own voice trapped down below, hidden away frozen, or drowned out nowhere to be found. I realize this was me, who lost connection with my true self. My voice was calling for help and attention. I was busy behind a mask acting for the love of others, at the cost of tending, befriending, knowing, and loving myself.


At that moment, it hit me and I started crying. I was bawling actually.. I felt seen, heard, acknowledged. Realizing this trauma, I now could heal. I could acknowledge the suffering that I kept hidden below. The answer was to honor it and let it go.


What would my life experience be like if I stepped out of this story? What would happen if I step out from under the mask and take my first steps forward and use my own voice for me?


I experienced this moment last year around November 2020, and LOOK at me now! 😜😜


I've faced and reframed negative and dysfunctional beliefs. I've addressed my fears and shown up and connected with my voice here through my blog and by connecting with friends like you!


After a year of the COVID pandemic, I was ready for community and connections. I feel so blessed communications with my womxn friends have increased.


My intentions from earlier this year to create community and lead New Moon circles have manifested and been granted to me.


I am grateful. Thank you, Thank You, Thank You.


Sending you Infinite Love,

XOXOXO Toni

2 Comments


Roxanne Garcia
Roxanne Garcia
Aug 20, 2021

😥Awww Toni! This was beautiful!!! I'm so happy to hear of your journey and thank you or being open about your obstacles. You've inspired me on so many levels, just want you to know that you'll always have a fan supporting you here! I'm excited for what is to come!!🌟

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Toni Quinn
Toni Quinn
Aug 20, 2021
Replying to

🥺🤩💗🥰 Thank you for visiting the blog Roxanne!🙏 it means SO much to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and leaving a comment! when I talk to friends and other people about being an ARMY I think they think its surface level enjoyment, but a lot of their songs' messages have touched me deeply and fuse with other connections in my life. The experience for me has just been more expansive and definitely SOULFUL. I'm thinking I'll do another BTS blog post soon. It just recently hit me how encouraging DNA is so I think I'll write about that next. Stay Tuned!~~Hehe It also really warms my heart and I feel it flutter and buzz 💓 knowing I have…

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